June 16? I don't know.
I feel like I should write something and get into the habit of writing things maybe. But I always think this, huh?
This time I guess I just mustered up enough motivation to actually do it. But I don't know what to say anyway. I have no profound thoughts. And nothing significant enough nagging in my mind - at least nothing that can be formulated into thoughts my mind understands.
There's nothing there. Really.


Normalcey Normallcy Normallcey Normalcey ?
You, there was only
You, now there's nothing
Really, there's nothing there.
There's nothing left
And I will maintain that.

There's nothing more I can do. But sometimes my eyes get wide and there's a little glitter and sparkle, because I've just had a revelation again. I'm incapable of holding on. I can't remember. I can't hold on, and it's leaving. It's left.


I wish I could still run forever, but I get out of breath. Through fields of flowers and the warm embrace of wind pushing dark clouds away. Bringing clear sky and clarity to my mind. A bright vast expance before me. Canvas of endless ideas and proper punctuation. And forever late nights with stars in the sky - and it's still blue. I wish I could be bright blue too.


The Most Dangerous Thing
Comeback.
I've lost my mind.
I lack.
I'm lost.
LOSER.


It's not my time.
GO GO!
Can I come?
Will you come with me?
Will you still say "yes" tomorrow?
Can we go alone?
Can we have no interruptions?
Will you feel concerned for me?
Will you only feign interest?
Will you pretend to care when I talk?
Can I not be interrupted?
Can you not laugh at my ideas?
Are my thoughts really that absurd?
That you have to laugh at me?
Do you think I don't care?
Why don't you ask questions that matter?
Why won't you find out what I do?
Why don't you notice I'm unhappy?
Can you tell if I lie?
Is this
The
End?


I put my trust in things that won't matter and people who can't care. It seems so detramental, but they don't know so why should they care.


Too Afraid To Say Goodnight
I am too afraid now to go to sleep. I am too afraid to say goodnight.
So farewell now.
The day is done.
Maybe I will see you
Again when the day is new.
But right now I'm too afraid. I don't want to say goodbye. But I try.

Too many things make me sad now. It's really hard. Things that should be happy make me sad sometimes just because I look at the negative aspects. Or maybe I just like dwelling on things that make me sad, because although it's not a great feeling, there's somehow comfort in that. And when I feel knots form in my stomache at least I know I haven't died.

But everything seems so difficult.